Friday, October 15, 2010
Mobile posts?
My phone completely fails at this. I guess that's what I get for having a Virgin Mobile.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
My Quest for Ramen
Not that pre-packaged curled noodle brick with the seasoning packet. The real thing. I'm dying to try it. The only problem is locating a place where it can be bought and enjoyed locally.
I live in Southern Mississippi. The Boondocks. Trying to find a Ramen shop is a difficult quest indeed.
If anyone knows of any Ramen shops within the South, that would be amazing. No further West than Texas please. No more North than Tennessee would be wonderful.
Please and thanks :)
-Ash
I live in Southern Mississippi. The Boondocks. Trying to find a Ramen shop is a difficult quest indeed.
If anyone knows of any Ramen shops within the South, that would be amazing. No further West than Texas please. No more North than Tennessee would be wonderful.
Please and thanks :)
-Ash
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Weird Dreams and Hopes
A couple nights ago I had a dream that kinda made me start thinking. Part of me wants that dream to come true, but I know that right now would not be the right time.
I dreamed I had a baby boy and I was already married to the love of my life, my now fiance. We were moving into an apartment that had a pool, so it was a rather nice apartment. I dreamed I lounged on our sofa and played with my little boy.
Our wedding will be a long way off, unfortunately, because right now tying the knot would make life so much more stressful for us, rather than enjoyable. I desperately wish we were in the financial position to be able to afford nuptials and the life attached, but I can't ignore the situations we're in. I still have no car and I'm a full time student trying to pay for college without getting loans. He is trying to pay off bills from a school he left, but is unable to find a good job locally. A couple years ago he broke his left femur and now has a titanium rod from knee to hip and causes him some pain. Because of that he's never been able to get his license or a car. It's frustrating and I can't help but feel helpless because there's really nothing I can do. I can only pray. And I do that frequently.
And I definitely know I'm not financially or emotionally ready for a child. I'm not even sure I want to bring a child into this world. Not with the state that it's in. I want to make sure that if and when I'm blessed with a child that I can provide that child with the life he or she deserves. Something better than what I had to deal with growing up. I want them to have a chance to actually BE a kid and enjoy youth while they can. Any good parent would want that for their children. I don't want to have them in a negative environment with yelling and fighting, and I want to be able to afford the things they need and the things they want.
Two...three years ago I told myself I never wanted children. But that was because I didn't think I would ever meet the man of my dreams. I wasn't very confident because of how I grew up, but it made me a stronger person because I know how hard life can be and I know I didn't have it as hard as others. Any abuse I ever was victim of was emotional. Now...I know my biological clock is ticking away. Many of my friends have already had a child...Some are married. I know right now that for me it would be a mistake to do either. I would ruin my remaining life and any resulting life...It would only strain the relationship that has pulled me out of the abyss...and right into the light. Right into pure bliss. I can only be slightly jealous for the time being, but jealousy is a natural emotion. However I'm not going to let it control me. I hope it'll happen one day. I'm quite confident that it will when we're both ready.
I dreamed I had a baby boy and I was already married to the love of my life, my now fiance. We were moving into an apartment that had a pool, so it was a rather nice apartment. I dreamed I lounged on our sofa and played with my little boy.
Our wedding will be a long way off, unfortunately, because right now tying the knot would make life so much more stressful for us, rather than enjoyable. I desperately wish we were in the financial position to be able to afford nuptials and the life attached, but I can't ignore the situations we're in. I still have no car and I'm a full time student trying to pay for college without getting loans. He is trying to pay off bills from a school he left, but is unable to find a good job locally. A couple years ago he broke his left femur and now has a titanium rod from knee to hip and causes him some pain. Because of that he's never been able to get his license or a car. It's frustrating and I can't help but feel helpless because there's really nothing I can do. I can only pray. And I do that frequently.
And I definitely know I'm not financially or emotionally ready for a child. I'm not even sure I want to bring a child into this world. Not with the state that it's in. I want to make sure that if and when I'm blessed with a child that I can provide that child with the life he or she deserves. Something better than what I had to deal with growing up. I want them to have a chance to actually BE a kid and enjoy youth while they can. Any good parent would want that for their children. I don't want to have them in a negative environment with yelling and fighting, and I want to be able to afford the things they need and the things they want.
Two...three years ago I told myself I never wanted children. But that was because I didn't think I would ever meet the man of my dreams. I wasn't very confident because of how I grew up, but it made me a stronger person because I know how hard life can be and I know I didn't have it as hard as others. Any abuse I ever was victim of was emotional. Now...I know my biological clock is ticking away. Many of my friends have already had a child...Some are married. I know right now that for me it would be a mistake to do either. I would ruin my remaining life and any resulting life...It would only strain the relationship that has pulled me out of the abyss...and right into the light. Right into pure bliss. I can only be slightly jealous for the time being, but jealousy is a natural emotion. However I'm not going to let it control me. I hope it'll happen one day. I'm quite confident that it will when we're both ready.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Another Ramble--No Substance At All
I'm just gonna ramble this time. Got some worries on my chest.
I need to get a job. Even better, I need to hurry up and go back to school, but I can't do that til August 16th. I'm kinda worried about my finances and all the financial aid I'm getting because I think my Honor's Scholarship isn't going to go through this year because I'm at a 2 year college and this will be my 3rd year. Taking it slow...I tried taking 19 hours my first semester and that drove me crazy. I've not taken more than 15 hours after that.
Anyway....I'm not sure how I'll be able to cover my dorm, tuition, and art supplies with just my PELL grant...it's a full PELL but after all that, naturally it's still not enough. I don't really want to take out a loan until I really have to...I'm hoping my work study (if I get it) will help pay for that, but I also need the money for food for my dorm, art supplies, and for my phone so I can keep in contact with my mother.
meh. I'm done. Not really, but I don't feel like typing about this anymore...
I need to get a job. Even better, I need to hurry up and go back to school, but I can't do that til August 16th. I'm kinda worried about my finances and all the financial aid I'm getting because I think my Honor's Scholarship isn't going to go through this year because I'm at a 2 year college and this will be my 3rd year. Taking it slow...I tried taking 19 hours my first semester and that drove me crazy. I've not taken more than 15 hours after that.
Anyway....I'm not sure how I'll be able to cover my dorm, tuition, and art supplies with just my PELL grant...it's a full PELL but after all that, naturally it's still not enough. I don't really want to take out a loan until I really have to...I'm hoping my work study (if I get it) will help pay for that, but I also need the money for food for my dorm, art supplies, and for my phone so I can keep in contact with my mother.
meh. I'm done. Not really, but I don't feel like typing about this anymore...
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Why do we always forget what we want to remember, and remember what we want to forget?
The title pretty much speaks for itself.
I'm plagued by memories of the past, and not necessarily good memories either. Sometimes I want to take a mental shower and clean out my mind. I'm not exactly certain how I can do that.
I want to remember the good days more than the bad days. The good experiences more than the bad. But then again, who doesnt? It definitely is true that we learn best from our mistakes. Partially because we never forget them! Nor do we forget the mistakes of others. It's true that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, as cliche as that is.
I've just been plagued by bad memories recently. Maybe because it's getting close to the anniversary of my sister's death. Who knows? All I know is I pray my head clears up because it's leaving me muddled. I don't like feeling depressed and weighed down. I should go swimming. But it's too hot. I'll just take a bath.
I'm plagued by memories of the past, and not necessarily good memories either. Sometimes I want to take a mental shower and clean out my mind. I'm not exactly certain how I can do that.
I want to remember the good days more than the bad days. The good experiences more than the bad. But then again, who doesnt? It definitely is true that we learn best from our mistakes. Partially because we never forget them! Nor do we forget the mistakes of others. It's true that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, as cliche as that is.
I've just been plagued by bad memories recently. Maybe because it's getting close to the anniversary of my sister's death. Who knows? All I know is I pray my head clears up because it's leaving me muddled. I don't like feeling depressed and weighed down. I should go swimming. But it's too hot. I'll just take a bath.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Art is an Addiction?
It's final. I now believe being an Art is an addiction. You're never satisfied! You never have enough paint. You never have enough paper, canvas, or other general supplies. You're always throwing money into buying supplies that you think you need. At least I am!
I decided to clean my room earlier today after my first post in a while. I've now come to the conclusion that when I clean my room and organize my supplies, it's like I'm washing off my old plastic palettes and rinsing out my brushes. I can't paint with a dirty palette or mucky brushes! Nor can I create anything with a dirty room. The thing is, the second everything is clean I want to paint or draw and my room is a mess again! Wow, Ash, chill it with the exclamation marks. Anyway, I'm still in the middle of cleaning my room at 10:00 at night. Then I decided I was going to post another blog. (It's addicting too, I might add, when I have something to write about.)
I need to stop rambling. To the point, Ash!
While in the midst of cleaning, after I can actually see my floor, I pull out all my supplies and begin organizing them. My ArtBin hasn't been touched in months. I tossed all the stuff on my previously clean floor and realized I have a lot of stuff I havent used in forever. I found a bunch of forgotten and half used acrylics, a handful of white erasers, 3 pencil sharpeners, gluesticks, and an old bottle of dried up rubber cement. I also majority of my "lost" brushes. Out of curiosity and blossoming half-enthusiastic Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I counted all my paintbrushes. Turns out just in my ArtBin alone I had 43 paint brushes I use for watercolor and acrylic. If that wasn't enough I went on a hunt, temporarily distracted from cleaning, and found 6 more watercolor brushes tossed in with my WC paints. Then I found my oil brush case and found 15 more brushes! I counted 64 brushes total. That's the ones I at least KNOW about. And I told myself...and still do...that I need more brushes. And I don't even use half of those. I guess because of the sizes, styles, shapes, and bristles. I don't use certain brushes.
Out of the goodness of my sisterly heart I gave my 13 year old sister a handful of the older ones I don't use anymore and that have a few years on them.
It's insane. I can't count how many art pieces I have floating around. I need to get rid of some of them. I'm running out of room!
--A.R.M
I decided to clean my room earlier today after my first post in a while. I've now come to the conclusion that when I clean my room and organize my supplies, it's like I'm washing off my old plastic palettes and rinsing out my brushes. I can't paint with a dirty palette or mucky brushes! Nor can I create anything with a dirty room. The thing is, the second everything is clean I want to paint or draw and my room is a mess again! Wow, Ash, chill it with the exclamation marks. Anyway, I'm still in the middle of cleaning my room at 10:00 at night. Then I decided I was going to post another blog. (It's addicting too, I might add, when I have something to write about.)
I need to stop rambling. To the point, Ash!
While in the midst of cleaning, after I can actually see my floor, I pull out all my supplies and begin organizing them. My ArtBin hasn't been touched in months. I tossed all the stuff on my previously clean floor and realized I have a lot of stuff I havent used in forever. I found a bunch of forgotten and half used acrylics, a handful of white erasers, 3 pencil sharpeners, gluesticks, and an old bottle of dried up rubber cement. I also majority of my "lost" brushes. Out of curiosity and blossoming half-enthusiastic Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I counted all my paintbrushes. Turns out just in my ArtBin alone I had 43 paint brushes I use for watercolor and acrylic. If that wasn't enough I went on a hunt, temporarily distracted from cleaning, and found 6 more watercolor brushes tossed in with my WC paints. Then I found my oil brush case and found 15 more brushes! I counted 64 brushes total. That's the ones I at least KNOW about. And I told myself...and still do...that I need more brushes. And I don't even use half of those. I guess because of the sizes, styles, shapes, and bristles. I don't use certain brushes.
Out of the goodness of my sisterly heart I gave my 13 year old sister a handful of the older ones I don't use anymore and that have a few years on them.
It's insane. I can't count how many art pieces I have floating around. I need to get rid of some of them. I'm running out of room!
--A.R.M
It's Been a While
I don't know if anyone has read my blog, but a couple of years have passed and a LOT has changed since my last post. I am now 19 years old and engaged. I'm studying Art at Pearl River Community College. It's not a place to brag about, but I thoroughly enjoy my studies.
I will be graduating in May of 2011 and shortly after I hope and pray to be married. The path ahead of me is dark and I can't quite see where I am going. I can only pray that it will be revealed to me when the time is right.
I'm on my first summer break since I left high school. I've been going to college for 2 straight years with no break. I worked and took a class last summer but I felt like I didn't get the full effect, so I'll be re-taking the class in the Fall. It was a waste of my time but we all learn from our mistakes.
Lately I've had difficulty tuning into my creativity. I feel very creative, as in I want to paint or draw, but I'm having a tough time finding subjects to paint and draw. I'm more of a surrealist. I love conceptual art. Art with more meaning than anyone can imagine. My style has definitely progressed and I've grown as an artist. This fallow period has me frustrated. I want to paint, but I lack inspiration. I lack a message to relay. I've been sick recently, so that could have a lot to do with it.
--A.R.M
I will be graduating in May of 2011 and shortly after I hope and pray to be married. The path ahead of me is dark and I can't quite see where I am going. I can only pray that it will be revealed to me when the time is right.
I'm on my first summer break since I left high school. I've been going to college for 2 straight years with no break. I worked and took a class last summer but I felt like I didn't get the full effect, so I'll be re-taking the class in the Fall. It was a waste of my time but we all learn from our mistakes.
Lately I've had difficulty tuning into my creativity. I feel very creative, as in I want to paint or draw, but I'm having a tough time finding subjects to paint and draw. I'm more of a surrealist. I love conceptual art. Art with more meaning than anyone can imagine. My style has definitely progressed and I've grown as an artist. This fallow period has me frustrated. I want to paint, but I lack inspiration. I lack a message to relay. I've been sick recently, so that could have a lot to do with it.
--A.R.M
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